Caring for a Child Shouldn’t Cause Financial Ruin

Every mother in America knows this struggle well: how do you afford to raise a child? 

My daughter was born almost 14 years ago and my family is still financially recovering from the struggle of supporting a newborn.

My family is not alone. American families are spending a greater and greater portion of their income on child care. According to the nonprofit Child Care Aware, the average cost of child care in the US is now more than $10,000 per year and even higher for infants and toddlers. And the problem is only getting worse. It’s no wonder so many women are choosing not to have children because they say they can’t afford them.

Right before I found out I was pregnant, I was let go from my job and lost my benefits and stable income. 

Once my daughter was born, instead of enjoying every moment of being new parents, my partner and I were stressed about our financial situation. I did not have a job to go back to and even if I did, we would not have been able to afford child care. I remember tirelessly googling child care providers in the area, and becoming exasperated at the costs. There was no way that we could afford to pay $300+ a week just for daycare – we wouldn’t be able to cover our basic living expenses! 

The situation became a catch-22: If I didn’t work, it would be impossible to balance our bills and afford the essentials to raise a child. But if I did, we wouldn’t be able to afford those things anyway, because all the money would be going to daycare.

This is why so many mothers like me are driven out of the workforce. As one of the only industrialized countries in the world without national paid leave, many of us are forced to choose between continuing to work or raising our children.

For the fortunate mothers who do have access to a paid leave program, 26.3% are less likely to quit their jobs and 18.2% more likely to work for the same employer after the birth of their first child. That’s not just good for mothers, that’s good for employers and our economy as a whole.

As I think back to those days, I remember always feeling sad, not realizing that like 10-15% of new mothers I was likely dealing with postpartum depression. That feeling was only compounded by isolation and the stress of financial insecurity. 

Paid leave can help address those mental stressors. According to one study, women who took longer than 12 weeks maternity leave reported fewer depressive symptoms, a reduction in severe depression, and an improvement in their overall mental health. I know I would have benefited greatly from knowing that I could take the time to care for my child without worrying about winding up in dire financial straits.

Having a child should be a joyful event, not a deeply stressful one. I have come to understand my experience as a failure of our elected leaders to provide basic needs like affordable, accessible child care and paid family and medical leave. I am glad that unlike elections in the past, this crisis has become a major issue. I hope to see a day when no mother has to go through what I did.